This is one of the most boring days of my life. Sad too. The ceremony is more or less vacant. The church feels more like an auditorium. Except for the bride and groom, everyone looks sullen. Then the awkward 4 hour space in between the ceremony and the reception. What the hell is that? In residential Juarez, there’s not much to do (and at the urges of my mother, who is hoping that I will not be kidnapped on this trip, I am not exactly looking for anything to do). So, to the hotel my girlfriend and I go, alternately napping, raiding the pathetic “buffet y bar” in the downstairs lobby and watching CNN Mexico (not surprisingly superior to the CNN we get in the states).
We shower, I iron my suit, she applies her make-up and we’re off. At the reception, we’re greeted by two large armed men who guide us through a metal detector. Really though. I would have taken a photo of this if not for the fear of being clubbed by one or both of the gentlemen. Luckily for me, I have left my machete and Uzi at home. The reception hall is basically empty. No one arrives at a Mexican wedding until two hours after start-time, except for the old folks and the Americans. So lets fast forward two hours.
The reception hall is still kind of empty but I’m drunk on several poorly made gin and tonics, which have obviously grown on me. Still bored. The wedding band is surprisingly good, but no one pays attention. My girlfriend’s amigas join us at our lonely table and things are looking up. But wait, no dinner. What? No dinner. Seriously? Yep. Just a table in the middle of the room with some chocolate covered strawberries and nuts, which all the little kids have already turned into a pile of crumbs and strawberry stems. I’m about to go ape-shit. Haven’t smoked a cigarette in 9 months but I’m about to. Instead a have another gin and tonic and sulk.
Then, out of nowhere, a loud crack, a sizzle, everything gets bright…
Fireworks, pool noodles, half-naked women with masks, ballon animals, boys on stilts, the bride on stage, singing her ass off, everyone on their feet, dancing their asses off. Holy shit. This is the best party I have ever been to. Another gin and tonic, por favor!